Socially Retarded

I've often mused that when I want friends and social interaction, nobody seems to be around, and when I want to be left to myself, I'm surrounded with people and high energy situations. I find it amusing to know that when my social skills are unnecessary, my wit is on point and my charm bubbles over; and when I'm called on to entertain others or fit into a group dynamic or interact in social scenes, I find myself tongue-tied, feeling less confident, and unable to carry on a worthy conversation.

A funny example of this dynamic comes in the form of my 9 month old daughter. Sometimes late at night or really early in the morning she wakes up in a good mood, and quietly mumbles to herself incoherently while playing with her blankets. And sometimes when I hear this I'm moved by how adorable she is to pick her up and hold her and see if she has anything to say. One such time, when I laid her in bed between my wife and I and listened to her mumbling hoping she would say something to me, she turned to me, smiled, opened her mouth as if to speak, and spewed about half s gallon of formula all over my chest. I couldn't find words to reply, and that was that.

Another example, less funny but more immediate, came to me today while riding the park at Northstar. I got there early, did some warm-up laps and took some pictures to check out some angles and get some ideas, and the park was perfect... and empty. Later on, when people showed up and a social scene was developing, the clouds moved in, the temp dropped, and the conditions went to hell. All of my ideas to shoot people and personalities were nullified by the abysmal lighting and the dismal mood the conditions were leaving everyone in, and my motivation to interact and be creative was sapped by the imminence of rainfall and the fact that I was freezing my ass off.


So perhaps what they say is true: The road to hell is paved with the best intentions, and the road to heaven is paved with shit, by a disgruntled government employee carrying a large shovel and wearing a scowl that would melt the foundation off of Tammy Faye Baker's glistening golden cheeks.

In California...

So I find myself in a strange, unfamiliar position since deciding to do this blog project; foreign feelings are popping up and bubbling to the surface and I'm thinking about and seeing things in whole new ways...

I guess I'm just really excited to have something fun and productive to work on that isn't limited by my lack of athleticism or by how out of shape and stiff I am.
And so I got up this morning, all jazzed to get the camera ready and go take some pictures, do some writing, be creative, and then I woke to find the weather has decided not to cooperate.

Cloudy, overcast, wet, possibly pissing heavy, sticky, freezing, soaking snow! YAY! What a shitshow this promises to be...

The great thing about creative, independent ventures, like this blog, is that there are little in the way of outside forces that can actually stop the creative process. Once the juices are flowing, the parts are lubed and put in motion, universal forces are aligned, even images of fat women naked can't kill the urge.

So I'm heading out into the not-so-California weather, camera in hand, wit fully loaded, cynicism at max capacity, fully prepared to do battle with this chip on my shoulder...